Live Oak — So, was that a collective “Ouch!” I heard here in Suwannee County a few weeks ago? It might have been. After all, a big chunk of us did get our local tax bill about the same time.

I wonder when the idea of a “tax” was first thought up? Can you imagine a whole bunch of cave dwellers sitting around the fire one night and the chief said, “OK guys, you are going to have to give me a goodly part of all that you own for services I feel you need.”  I bet the idea wasn’t received all that well. In fact, I suspect the very next night the main course for dinner was “Ex-chief on a Spit,” while the new chief carefully steered the fireside conversation in other, safer directions.

At any rate, it has been documented that taxes go all the way back to ancient Egypt, where one form of early taxation involved a special fee tacked on to cooking oil. Of course, that resulted in folks using the same cooking oil over and over. In response, the tax collectors created an enforcement arm. It involved folks going from door to door auditing households to insure that the homeowner’s cooking oil was being properly utilized. I wonder how many of the auditors looked the other way in return for the homeowner making a “voluntary contribution” to the bureaucrat’s unofficial retirement fund.

But I digress. The purpose of this column isn’t to rail against our local tax bills. In fact, it is just the opposite. My objective is to perhaps make you feel a little better about the amount you’re paying, and let you know who is paying what.  

First off, let me say that I was somewhat surprised at how many of us are paying at least some amount toward running our local government. After all, we are not a rich county. But according to Property Appraiser Lamar Jenkins and his deputy Stacia Cheshire, of Suwannee County’s 15,027 homesteaded parcels, all but 8.5 percent owe something, meaning the houses and land of most homeowners are valued at amounts that at least exceed the $25,000 homestead exemption to which we are entitled.

And in the spirit of, “Everything is Relative,” I thought you also might be interested in getting an idea of what some of the county’s “heaviest hitters” are or will be shelling out. Now there may be special assessments or certain other individual and unique factors that are not included in these numbers, but according to our local tax folks, the figures are pretty much on the mark. Here they are:

            Gold Kist/Pilgrim’s Pride:        $2,302,757.42

            Suwannee American Cement:     $1,327,171.37

            Florida Power Corporation:        $1,022,410.81

            Suwannee Valley Electric:           $783,282.66

            Wal-Mart:                   $137,277.19

            Lowes Home Center:        $128,768.92

            Southern Natural Gas:        $76,031.79

            Suwanee Farms:                 $75,980.38

            Publix Shopping Center:        $70,618.97

            Holiday Inn Express:        $56,339.66

So are you feeling any better about your own tax bill? Probably not. After all, it seems to be in the DNA of every true-blue American to think that we always pay the taxman too much for too little.

Jim lives in Live Oak.